I heard a very sad tale the other day- a tale about how elephants are tamed and kept subservient to their masters. Do you know it? If not, then let me tell you:
The training often starts when the elephant is a calf, the trainer would tie it to an ankle harness and secure the harness to the ground. The calf could pull and tug all they want but would not have the strength to free itself. The harness is kept on continuously until the calf gets the message that it is futile to try and break free. By the time the calf grows into maturity, all the trainer has to do is tie the harness, with no need to secure it to anything, the elephant will stay put as it has learnt the lesson that it is useless to make an attempt at freedom.
Image courtesy of onegreenolanet.org
Isn't this sad? But isn't this is very analogous to humans and some of our perceptions of ourselves? We tell ourselves a story about who we are - over and over till we believe it to be true, even if it is not, even if it’s something that is long gone in the past. Our perceptions of ourselves are our ankle harnesses and like the elephant we fail to change because we believe the attempt is going to be in vain. Let me give you an example from my own life- from a very young age I showed a great propensity for mathematics and a flair for design, however I fell far below the bar on my writing skills. I just told myself that I could not be good at everything and this was one of them, something that I repeated in my head till adulthood. I qualified as an Architect, started working in Practice, still with this belief of myself. Though I excelled at my job, I would panic when I had to write reports or send lengthy mails. When my son was diagnosed with dyslexia and I was told that it was probably hereditary, it confirmed my ‘limitations’, I now had a valid reason for why I was ’terrible at writing’. For so many years I have had this view of myself and now it was comforting to put a label on it, hide behind it. So when I first started Recipe Architects and wanted to share my experiences, I agonised at every word I penned, this was going way beyond my comfort zone. It was then that my husband sat me down and said that I had so much to say, so just SAY it. Don’t worry about big fancy words, don’t worry about what people will say, just say/write what is in your heart. You have a story to tell, so just ’say it like it is’. So here I am- saying it like it is, you can’t shut me up now! I am still terrible at spelling but the computer corrects that. Grammar is poor but am I getting my message across? That’s all that matters. We have the ability, no, the power to make any change that we wish but we need to believe that we can. But the only way you know if this is true is to try, as without effort, nothing happens!!!!! Tell yourself that you ARE the person you want to become for that is half the battle. So what is stopping you, go and just try.... what is the worst that could happen?